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Don't Just Cope: Changing Your Relationship With Anxiety.

4/11/2016

2 Comments

 
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Anxiety is a normative experience that we share  with each other and it becomes problematic when it impacts our day-to-day function or we develop anticipatory worry of its reemergence. Anxiety is the brain’s interpretation of perceived threat in the absence of danger. The physiological changes we experience (e.g., increased heart rate, sweating, racing thoughts, numbness in extremities) when running from a bear are never thought of as an anxious response. They may be initiated by fear but are bloody necessary!

This need changes, however, when the same damaging symptoms arise before a public presentation, or networking opportunity. In these circumstances we are not actually in danger, but our brains get stuck in a loop between our physical symptoms and cognitive appraisals. This emotional reasoning, “If I feel bad it must be because there is reason to be” is commonly experienced by individuals who struggle with anxiety disorders. For example, individuals with social anxiety use their body’s physiology as cues for their social success or failure (e.g., “Sweating, blushing, and stomach knots are ‘proof’ I’m screwing this up!”).

Effective therapies (i.e., CBT, Exposure Response Prevention, Mindfulness, & Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) help individuals shift their relationship with their anxiety by challenging distorted thinking and breaking the anxiety brain-body loop through behavioral techniques. Methods to help individuals cope can sometimes be problematic. When utilizing coping skills, individuals continue to perceive their anxiety symptoms as dangerous and run the risk of temporary relief.

Although immediate symptom reduction can be seductive, it produces continued intolerance for distress - the major contributor to anxiety disorders. Treatment should focus on increasing a person’s  tolerance for distressing feeling and separating feelings of anxiety from themselves. The feelings of panic will never be pleasurable, but tips to make them manageable and ultimately less significant do exist.

5 Tips for Shifting Your Relationship with Anxiety

  1. Think about and discuss your anxiety as a separate entity. For example, “My anxiety wants me to cancel my plans. My anxiety is telling me i’m making a fool of myself.” This helps individuals identify their experience without judgement.
  2. Name it. When talking about your anxiety as separate from yourself it can be very helpful to call it something else. Some clients find vilifying their anxiety helps by calling it “Nazi” “Voldemort”  “bully” or “AOJ: Antithesis of joy,” while others use comical names to reduce its power, such as “bunny” or “Goofy.”
  3. Plan for the worst and expect the worst. Most individual’s anxiety is centered around the anticipation of something. Anxiety can be predictable and often is. Don’t be surprised and demoralized by it showing its face. Expect it. It is empowering to enumerate your expected symptoms before an event and chuckle to yourself when your anxiety shows up with its predictable symptoms to freak you out.
  4. Track the time. A helpful strategy is to make a mental or written note of the precise time you notice its appearance. Anxiety physiologically can not last for long, although it feels like it’s forever. Tracking the time provides real evidence of the limited nature of acute distress.
  5. Bring it on. Avoidance is the fuel that maintains anxiety. Seeking out anxious experiences on purpose teaches the brain these experiences are not dangerous. With regular practice, the once predictable anxiety fades away when it loses its power.

Written by Kevin Ashworth, MA, LPC. Kevin is a licensed therapist and co-founder of NW Anxiety Institute in Portland, Oregon. He specializes in CBT and ERP treatments of anxiety disorders in children and adults.
2 Comments
David Hammond link
12/13/2019 03:12:04 am

It is difficult to cope with anxiety. But it is possible. Without figuring out where the anxiety is coming from, you can’t deal with anxiety. Anxiety is an emotion of being under abnormal pressure. Relationship anxiety is quite typical. It can be caused by various factors. Sometimes, relationship anxiety can be caused by low self-esteem, and sometimes, the attachment style can make you feel stress when you are in a relationship. You have to maintain your own identity, and polish your ability to communicate, in order to deal with anxiety when in a relationship.

Reply
CB2 Oil link
10/28/2020 10:07:28 am

Today anxiety and stress is the root cause of major health and mental problems. Too much focus on job and less time for personal rejuvenation is the cause of development of chronic anxiety. I am a patient of anxiety and for this I am using the CB2 oil. It contains terpenes along with cannabidiol. It is best for sleep management and reduction of stress and anxiety. I am happy to use this oil. From your article I came to know more information on anxiety and its effects on society.

Reply



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    Kevin Ashworth, co-director of NW Anxiety Institute, specializes in the treatment of severe anxiety disorders

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  • Treatments
    • OCD
    • Panic Disorder
    • Social Anxiety
    • Specific Phobias
    • Parenting Anxious Kids
    • PTSD
    • Hoarding
  • Programs
    • The FOCUS Program
    • Individual Therapy
    • Group Therapy
    • Parent Training & Support
    • Hoarding Group for Teens
    • Presentations & Training
  • About
    • Why NW Anxiety?
    • Our Team >
      • Allison Bonifay
      • Kevin Ashworth
      • Dr. Karan Randhava
      • Dr. Hayley Dauterman
      • Dr. Myles Rizvi
      • Jessica McKee
      • Ashley Wray
      • Kevin Menasco
      • Alyssa Scott
      • Anna van Asselt
      • Joe Milosch
      • Rachel Crawford
      • Bridgett LaBella
      • Samantha Lewis
    • Careers
    • Rates
    • In the News
    • Past Newsletters
  • What is ERP?
  • Telemental Health
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